Probably one of the best costumes from the con that I’ve seen.
a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that
dating me means dating my anxiety and my random spouts of depression it means dating my panic attacks at 11pm or 2 am or 5am or anytime of the day for that matter it means dating my mood swings where i get really upset over everything about me and all my insecurities and how i’m not good enough because i’m never good enough
Literally me right now.
the older I get, the more I understand squidwards anger
You either die Spongebob, or live long enough to see yourself become Squidward.
Keira Knightley talks about Pirates of the Caribbean and her boobs.
When I was just starting high school, a girl who rode my bus invited me to stay the night at her house and when I did she got really emotional and told me no girls ever stayed over because she was a lesbian and if you don’t think that’s the saddest thing ever you need to re-evaluate your life
Thoughtful underwear with hidden powers. For every pair purchased you fund 7 pads to a girl in need.
OH SHIT YOU GUYS THIS COMPANY IS MAKING UNDERWEAR THAT IS STAIN RESISTANT, ANTIMICROBIAL, AND WILL ABSORB UP TO 6 TEASPOONS OF LIQUID BUT STILL LOOKS FUCKING SEXY
AND DID I MENTION THIS PART:
For every pair of THINX you buy, you help one girl in the developing world stay in school by providing her with seven washable, reusable cloth pads.
AND WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL? HERE’S WHY:
After doing some research, Agrawal says she found that more than 100 million girls in the developing world were missing a week of school because of their periods, and using things such as leaves, old rags, or plastic bags in the place of sanitary pads.
THE SIZES RUN FROM XS TO XXL AND THE PRICES ARE NOT INSANE, THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY HIGHER THAN THOSE 5 FOR $10 SALES AT TARGET BUT YOU WON’T HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE YOU MISCALCULATED YOUR FLOW AND BLED ALL OVER THEM BEFORE YOU COULD GET TO A BATHROOM
I’M SORRY FOR SHOUTING I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS
LIKE HOLY FUCKBASKET IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME
the 7 y/o boy who lives next door doesn’t want to go in the house to bed and i just heard his dad use the old “you live under my roof, you live by my rules” and the kid just shouted back “im not under your roof im under the sky and thats god’s roof and he wants me to play out for longer!”
i can’t stop laughing.
update: now he’s scootering down the street singing ‘we didn’t start the fire’ while his dad chases him
during sex when he least suspects it, scream “EA GAMES” followed by whispering “challenge everything”
WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THAT GO SIT IN THE CORNER
WHY THE FUCK
I’M NOT IN THE FANDOM, AND WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
* sobs * too soon