If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
This is the greatest knock knock joke in the history of all knock knocks jokes ever told, ever.
nobody does panic like chandler bing
im gonna do that thing where u message someone randomly asking for ur sandals back ill keep u guys updated
oh my god
people are so nICE ABOUT THIS
things have taken a dramatic turn
dammit my cover is blown
PEOPLE ARE WAY TO NICE ABOUT MY NON EXISTENT SANDALS
IM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE
"I always know."
college kids going home for break
why must we play god
The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.
The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.
not our division